March 3

The moon is nice and full, hidden by the lacey gray clouds of night. The night birds usually come out and sing me to sleep, except tonight. I can’t sleep tonight. I don’t feel like it. I worry. I worry about what I will do tomorrow to get the attention and popularity I want. My mind is cluttered with images of all the popular people and from what I see I have a long way to go. It’s this late in the school year and I’m still asking myself what makes me so different from the other kids. The wind just shifted and blew through the treetops, it caught my attention. Why can’t I be like the wind? Just blow through the treetops once in a while and have no other bothers. Once I get to the place they call school, an educational pit of learning. I look around me, I observe what no other person cares to look at. I see parents making their children kiss them on the cheek. Why? So that they could be reassured that their child loves them? I see people looking at me and I often wonder what they’re thinking. Oh, what I would give to see and hear and think through someone else, not just me. A black cat crossing nearly being hit by a car catches my eye. What a beautiful and graceful cat, blending into the scenery going unnoticed by those who do not care to look. To be as agile as a cat and not have to worry about what the trolls roaming the halls might think. The lacey black clouds covering the moon have shifted to show off the moon’s glorious glow. Soft and yellow. Perfect for a wish. The same wish I’ve wished for the past four years of my life and I still believe someday it will come true. To see like other people see, to hear like other people hear, not always have to see everything, and not always have to hear everything. My heart sags and my breath comes harder as I watch the pendulum of unwanted-ness near my chest. Every minute I look at all the faces in my learning center, I feel deep warm tears. I fall asleep as small droplets of rain hit my window and I drift off to my land of slumber and dreams where all I want comes true and at least I have a false happiness instead of none.