I knew eventually I would have a post on this topic. I just overheard someone use the term “nigger” and it made me cringe - apparently racism still exists (on all sides of the color spectrum). Everyone has their own beliefs, but frankly, I have no idea why people don’t like other people based solely on the complexion of their skin. I just don’t understand it, I try to, but I don’t. People are people.

I didn’t even know I was black until I was about 5 years old and a kid in my kindergarten class told me so:
kid in my class: my mommy says you’re black
my response: what does that mean?
kid in my class: that’s why your skin is brown and mine is pink
my response: oh, okay
back to playing with legos or whatever

That was about the extent of my racial dealings.

Then I moved to Florida and my glass bubble broke - the first time in my life I was called a “nigger” - it was my 3rd day of high school and I was walking home when a pick up truck with 5 guys drove by and one of the guys in the bed screamed out “hey nigger bitch!” and I stopped - literally. I honestly didn’t understand it - I had seen it in the films in history class and in some movies, but I didn’t understand it. I went home and looked up the meaning of the word nigger in the dictionary. That turned out to be the second worst day of my life.

From that day forward, I never walked to or from school again and it was the first time in my life I had ever been afraid that someone would physically hurt me simply because of my skin color - needless to say, the neighborhood in which we lived was not very color-friendly (however, they were not overtly racist). Most of the kids didn’t take the same stance as most of the adults - thank God.

Since then, I always felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb - and not because of my height anymore. I never had a problem being the only black kid in any group, but since then, each time I’m in a room full of one type of people (black, white, green, red, what have you), I say a little prayer hoping that they are as “liberal” minded as I am and see that I am a person and not just a color.

One may wonder why I feel uncomfortable in a room full of black people. Well - because I’ve been told on quite a few occasions that I sound white (um…yea, I’m still trying to figure out how a person can sound white). And since the internet makes communication so much easier, I’ve had people contact me, speak with me over the phone, then when we meet in person - the expression on their face says it all (some are even blatant enough to say it - “I didn’t know you were black” - some have even said I sounded “cultured” as if black people didn’t have “culture”).

I speak english as I learned it in school. I actually sat still and paid attention when the teacher spoke. I listen to rock, alternative, metal, but I also listen to rap, hip hop, jazz, folk, classical and many other types of music too. I very rarely use slang (I don’t count internet shorthand as slang). Somehow, that constitutes being white? And no Dale, this isn’t pointed at you - because you’re in the same boat (except you’ve mastered “ebonics” and frankly, I’m just not going there).

To me, people will always be people and I base my interactions with them on how they treat me (and themselves), whether we have things in common and can relate to each other - not their complexion or vernacular.