Talking about fear of having a mini version of myself, it reminded me of some of my high school antics. Like I said, I was never really a bad person and didn’t do the smoking/drinking/promiscuity thing, but I was very enterprising :D .

While other teenagers were thinking of what to wear the next day, I started a Hoochie service. It originally started out as a matchmaking service for the school dance and I did a pretty dern good job. Some of the girls got to thinking about extending the business, and next thing you know, I already had about 15 female hoochies and 3 male hoochies lined up. They called me pimpmama, I called them hoochie 1-#. It was a very close loving relationship we all shared.

Now before you all condemn me as a heathen, I wasn’t selling sex and I had a long discussion with my hoochies that they didn’t have to do anything they didn’t want to and they wouldn’t need to date anyone over the age of 18 or who had graduated from high school. I got a couple football players to be the drivers/bouncers. I had business cards and flyers printed up. I discussed a fee schedule with the ladies and gents. Everything was good to go…that is until Mr. Jones found out. Damn…

He called me into his office, had a speech about how I was “a very smart girl” and how I should “already know that it was wrong to pimp out girls” (and some guys) and I remember thinking to myself “Dude, you’re the biggest pimp of all with your polyester suit. You look like you stepped out of an episode of Shaft. Who are you trying to kid?” – but now that I’m older and wiser, I can understand why a hoochie service may not have been the best way to earn money in high school. Thankfully he made a deal with me – if I promised to quit the pimping business and get a legit job he wouldn’t tell my dad. I ended up working at Wendy’s through high school.

Oddly enough, some people still call me pimpmama. Sometimes I miss the good ole days…I never thought I’d ever be able to look back at that and laugh. It’s because of stuff like this which gives me pause on having children though.

Disclaimer: If you’re in high school, do not try to start one, there is a 99% chance it will not work out and you will get caught before your first flyer goes out.