My sissy kidnapped me for lunch yesterday. Granted, I went willingly cuz I just needed to get out of the house and take a break, and we had a nice time. We started talking about, what, I can’t remember, but I do remember that it got me thinking about how we take so much for granted. I told her that this year, I would eat at Long John Silver’s. She looked over at me and said “oh, I’ve eaten there…” and I replied “I know, you’ve told me, but I’m actually going to park my car, get out, walk inside and order some chicken.”

She got a little quiet, then looked back over at me and said “I’ve never gone inside. I’ve always gone through the drive through. I’ve never gone inside.” and I could see in her face that going inside scared her too. So, this year, I will face so many of the things I was unable to deal with before. The list will grow I’m sure because it is by no means complete, but I’m trying to do this thing one step at a time. I’ll conquer the bigger stuff when I feel I’m better able.

1. I will eat at Long John Silver’s
2. I will purchase and actually chew a stick of Juicy Fruit Gum
3. I will learn to play guitar
4. I will make it through Amazing Grace without crying

I know I can do it, I’ve already proven that to myself by eating an orange again, eating Toblerone chocolates, buying and actually chewing a stick of gum from the “green pack” (I don’t remember what flavor it is because we always used to just call it the “green pack” - I know it’s Wrigley’s PenTpak brand and has 17 sticks of gum in it).

I know that the majority of you will not understand my list and many will be looking cross-eyed at it wondering if I’m joking - no, I’m not - but there are some who will understand the significance of each of the things on that list. I have not done any of the things on that list in 13 years, I can’t believe it’s been thirteen years already, it seems like it was just yesterday.

When I’m ready to talk about it, I will, but for now I’m going to focus on finding the strength to accomplish each task.