Okay, the title is a little sarcastic. These are, in fact, warning signs of being overtly stalkerish.

1. You call the person’s cell phone and when she does not answer you leave a 6 minute message (to the point where her voice mail system hangs up on you), then you call back and pick up the message exactly where you left off – and in that 10 minute 2 part phone message, you don’t say a damn thing except “er..uh…er.”

2. You then turn around and call the person’s home phone no more than 2 minutes later and when she does not answer you leave her a 3 minute long phone message (to the point where her answering machine hangs up on you), then you call back and pick up the message exactly where you left off – and, again, in that 6 minute 2 part phone message, you still can’t get past the “er…uh…er.”

3. You still feel it’s necessary less than one minute later to email the person with a message saying “I called you.” (and also blind carbon copy it to her back up email address.)

4. You also feel it’s necessary to contact her via the contact form on her website saying “I called you and just sent you an email message.”

(you’ll note at this point that neither email message contained any other information).

5. You covertly try to get the person’s mailing address so you can send her ‘stuff’ after you’ve just ambushed her with a 9pm* phone call after she explicitly told you on prior occasions (yes, plural) never to call her ever again.

Of course, there are a few more warning signs you can add to the list, but those are the blatantly obvious ones – something to think about.

* 9pm may not be late to some people, but it sure as hell is when you’re not a friend or family member and it’s always too late when the person is afraid of you and told you never to call her again.