I Wished I Was White Once…
I’ll probably catch a serious flogging for this later, but at one point in my life I wished I was white.
I had a very bad experience once because of my skin color, no, not that experience — my then boyfriend’s parents told him they didn’t like him dating me because I wasn’t “light enough” (they were chiney). I couldn’t figure out why it would make me different. I laughed, smiled, had feelings like everyone else, right? Heck, we were from the same country.
We hear very often about whites being prejudiced against blacks, but it’s not just white people who are prejudiced – oh no – black people are just as or more prejudiced. Black people aren’t just prejudiced about skin color either, they take it to location. I don’t think most white people are even aware of this because it’s kept so quietly in the black community.
The Caribbean blacks tend to be prejudiced against the American blacks. Go up to a Jamaican, Trini or Haitian and call them African American and watch how quickly they’ll correct you — and I believe it extends a little beyond simple pride in one’s country.
Based on my own experience, Caribbeans generally equate themselves with being hard workers and industrious as a whole, while African Americans are regarded as “lazy” and “ghetto”.
I had no idea of the extent of this mindset until I befriended an American black and my Jamaican friend asked me why I would ‘associate’ myself with an American black (I sanitized this example for your protection).
It took me about a year, but I figured out the basic food chain in my high school:
1. Light skinned Jamaicans (trini, chiney, black/white mixed)
2. Moderate skinned Jamaicans (generally darker black/white mixed)
3. Darked skinned Jamaicans & Haitians
4. Light skinned African Americans
5. Dark skinned African Americans
But this street went both ways, a lot of the African Americans thought of the Caribbeans as stuck up and sell outs. My bus driver actually had the audacity to ask me if my daddy was a ‘drug dealer’ because he ‘picked me up in a different car everyday’. I’ve also been teased a great many times because of how I speak. To quote – I “sound white” or “I’m trying to act white” – er, what?
I speak how I was raised to speak and I take great pride in how I speak. But why should it have mattered how I sound — shouldn’t people be listening to what I actually had to say instead?
Throw in a dash of colorism and we have a bona fide mix of — WTF? I think that’s what drove me over the edge. It seemed less complicated to just be white — and you know what else? I’m fairly sure I’m not the only black person to think along those same lines, just more likely to admit it. I even went out and bought skin bleaching cream and was fully ready to turn myself into, at best, a light skinned Jamaican.
I came to my senses though and have grown quite fond of my loverly shade of a cocoa bean brown (however difficult it may be to find decent make up), but the problem hasn’t exactly gone away and I still need to be extra careful that I don’t go missing at any point in my life.
But now instead of wishing I were white, I just wish that, if only for one day – one measly day – we could all just be treated equally regardless of complexion or nationality. I figure, in that one day, the world may come to its senses and that one day will turn into many more…is that too much to ask?
July 31st, 2005 at 7:40 am
What an interesting post. I first stumbled upon the “heirarchy” when I taught in an affirmative action program at a college in NY. I had no idea of the animosity between Dominicans and Haitians until I mistook one for the other, and all hell broke out. The students were kind enough to explain to me the racism even within minorities groups. I was floored. I had encountered it in the gay community (which drove me BONKERS, because here we all were fighting for the same recognition, but we had to do it in separate groups? Come on!), so I shouldn’t have been all that surprised – but it definitely left a mark on me. Even now, I’m hypersensitive to these distinctions – I work with mainly Southeast Asian and Latino youth.
July 31st, 2005 at 8:37 am
It’s really quite sad that it happens at all – it simply boggles the mind.
All hell would have broken loose if you called a Jamaican a Haitian as well. For whatever reason, they are fierce when it comes to their distinctions.
The truth is that we are all fighting for the same recognition and needing to do it in separate groups is ridiculous.
I had no idea that it happened in the gay community though – I figured there would be more solidarity there at least.
August 1st, 2005 at 1:33 pm
I have a feeling I’ll be shaking hands with the Great Creator before this kind of stuff ever ends.
Racism on any level is just wrong, even against yourself.
August 1st, 2005 at 3:36 pm
You’re very right Jason,
racism is wrong, period, even against oneself. However, it’s still alive and kickin’ and what worries me most is how quietly it’s played out.
Heck, it even happens within the families – my sister Max was treated differently than my sister Di by our grandparents because she wasn’t high yellow. I was quite lucky that I was favored despite my complexion
.
This can wreak havoc on a teenager’s self esteem when they’re constantly told “lighter is better” even by their own peers of the same nationality or descent and it can push them over the edge — to make matters worse, they are likely not to speak up about it, they’ll just accept it.
And there are plenty of products to help them accept it too — all saying “lighter is better, it will make your life easier”.
And some of those teens may not have a sister like mine who would look at them like they were on crack and ask what possible reason they’d have for wanting to make such a drastic change…and remind them that if we all looked the same, the world would be a mighty boring place…
So while it may be construed as racism against oneself, it’s really just a desire for acceptance and feeling of normalcy.
In my personal case, I wasn’t racist against myself – I love my nationality and I didn’t dislike black people and I didn’t think there was anything wrong with being black…I just wanted to fit in and not have to deal with all the b.s.
October 16th, 2006 at 10:19 pm
Food Chain— Please!
The only reason Carib blacks can come to the USA is because of the Civil Rights Movement–fought by the very African-Americans they so despise!
You all need to come off your high horse and think about whose shoulders you are standing on!
As far as the food chain, you need to pick up a copy of Lawrence Otis Graham’s book “Our Kind of People”. It’s the story of the African-American upperclass, which still exists in many cities across the USA. Which many of you caribs would never be accepted into.
You Caribs come to New York/New Jersey and make judgements about a whole group of people based on the neighborhood you have settled in!
Yes, the African-American community has it’s problems just like all the crap that goes on in the carib community.
But there are many many African-Americans who are educated and live very well across this great nation! We live well, get married, own property and everything else that’s good.
I have spnt time in the caribean, and 20 years in New York, trust me, where you all come from you have absolutely nothing to turn your nose up about to any African-American!
October 17th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
Please don’t take this the wrong way, Tee, but it sounds like you have far more issues than I can address in the brief amount of time I have right now.
I’ll respond properly later…as in, when I get back home.
October 18th, 2006 at 9:18 am
Teli:
Issues?????
Just responding to your piece that’s all.