Forget The Finger…

I got my entire arm stuck in one of those crane game machines fishing for a free prize. Ended up with the everyone in the bowling alley crowded around as a nice stranger helped me yank my arm out. And dern if that didn’t hurt like all-get-out.

–Russ Stewart

Going the whole hog

I’m feeling greedy today, so I thought I would try all Teli’s ideas :p
Today’s teenagers are nursing hangovers
Okay, it’s not true. I’m not nursing a hangover…but I was a good boy, I had one malibu and coke and a smirnoff ice, and that was it. My friends’, sister leaves for uni tomorrow, I knew her quite well, but anyway, last night was her leaving party. We all managed to dance like idiots and make fools of ourselves. Although I know there was at least one person with a hangover this morning, for certain :p

One time I got my finger stuck in a door and it hurt
That one needs no explaining, and safe to say it was a very heavy door, with one of those self-closing chains, which didn’t help *winces*

There are a lot of creative uses for Cheerios, like _________
I’m afraid you’ve got me stumped. There are no creative uses for Cheerios, in fact there are no uses for Cheerios, they go soggy too darned quickly!

That’s your lot, you might want to pop over to where the FFAF randomness is on all night (or whenever it is, I hate timezones).

Free For All Weekend

Yes, you read that correctly – FFAF is now a weekend long event on Mild Insanity. It’s penance for my late start today – I’ve already added a “FFAF automatically open the blog up” script to my already far too long to do list.

Anyway, moving along – if you’re feeling stumped for topics, you are welcome to take one of the ideas below and run with it:
Today’s teenagers are ____________
One time I got my finger stuck in ________and _______
There are a lot of creative uses for Cheerios, like _________

Rules & Terms:
1) Please do not promote any hate related or other negative type sites while you’re pimping stuff on my blog.
2) I reserve the right to moderate, edit or delete any entries which violate rule #1 at my sole discretion.

**This post will remain at the top until FFAF is over**

Click on finish reading for the instructions -> finish reading »

Where Were The Pimping Secrets When I Was In High School?

For anyone who’s ever aspired to become a pimp, much like I did way back in the day, I have good news for you — John Reese’s Pimping Secrets.

He must be out of his mind to be offering so many great bonuses o_O. By the time I got to “Bonus 5: John’s personal directory of vendors he uses from alley dentists to fit your platinum grill perfectly to the best places to buy used platinum chains and diamond crosses in almost new condition.” I was ready to lay down the cash.

I cannot wait until I, too, “have the best hoes in town and a chevy impala with shag carpet dash and 22″ rims”.

Ass First Into Barbed Wire

Yea…I read this meme courtesy of Jason and knew I had to participate :D

Play along? Leave your answers or a link to your webpage with your responses in the comments.

1. Would you rather: go face-first through a window OR ass-first into barbed wire?
2. chew on a live wolverine’s tail OR french kiss a llama?
3. become owner of the worst baseball team in a america OR the worst soccer/football team in the world?
4. be president bush’s next supreme court justice pick OR his next FEMA director?

My answers?
1. Ass first into barbed wire. Why? I may look like a gremlin to some people, but I do like my face and I don’t have to meet people ass first.

2. French kiss a llama. As disgusting as that is, it’s the lesser of two evils. One of three very bad things can happen while chewing on a wolverine’s tail and frankly, I don’t want to take my chances with any of them.

3. Worst baseball team in America. There’s still a slim chance I’d actually make some money.

4. Is neither an option? Damn, didn’t think so. Going with Supreme Court Justice. Don’t have a good reason, but I’m hoping that the new FEMA director would take some of the attention away from me.

Something For Nothing

I’m a day late with my Monday meltdown post and it’s totally off topic, but better late than never (and better something than nothing).

In my line of business you meet all kinds of wonderful people, and I have to say, I’ve been extremely lucky and have met some amazingly wonderful clients and friends. But every once in a while, you get one.

While this is from a long time ago, I had the opportunity to revisit something that I cannot stand – those people who expect you to give them something for nothing.

You know the type, they think because they hired you to do xyz you should also throw in abc and possibly def for good measure.

Now, I love to help people, period. In most cases, I will bend over backwards to help someone if I could, especially if they are polite to me, but the moment they act like I owe them something they will receive a pink slip.

It is one of the biggest pet peeves I have – those who try to take advantage of another.

So what’s my meltdown about?

Well, if I went into the details, this post would be password protected ;) – suffice it to say that I just had a good chuckle at one of those people who informed me quite arrogantly that he expected me to move the mountains, rearrange the sea, and alter the molecular structure of O2 for him in order to show my appreciation for letting him be my client.

Does that make sense to you? It didn’t make sense to me either.

I kindly informed him that there was a surcharge for arrogance and divine actions which probably required a personal consultation with the Almighty himself at which time he said he didn’t like my customer service. Notice, he loved my customer service up until the point I refused to give him freebies.

The sad part? I probably would have done it if he hadn’t been so arrogant and condescending.

He is no longer a client.

The Other Browser

I had met Opera over a year ago, but we only got together when I needed to do browser checks for various websites because I already had a browser in my life.

Since I met Firefox I have been completely committed to our relationship, but when I heard Opera was now available (for free), I decided I should give it a fair chance.

We browsed through many websites together and I even added a few RSS feeds, but I swear I didn’t mean for it to get this serious. The affair only lasted a couple weeks and it just swept me off my feet so quickly. I didn’t even see it happening.

Now when I open Opera, even if it’s just a simple site check, I can feel my cheeks get flush and pangs of guilt rush over me because there is a deeper part of me that just wants to keep cruising the internet and close Firefox altogether.

It’s getting so hard for me to face Firefox, it has been so wonderful to me, and is still wonderful — but it’s been getting on my nerves recently. I know it’s mostly the fault of some plugins (and loading the bazillion plugins at launch time), but my patience is dwindling.

Opera is so fast and sleek and refined. What more could a girl ask for in a browser? But when I think of finally breaking it off completely with Firefox and give in to Opera’s repeated requests to be my “default browser” – I think of all the wonderful things that Firefox has and Opera doesn’t.

It took me nearly a year to get Firefox just the way I want it – Date/Time, Tidy HTML validator button, and AdSense earnings in the status bar. Developer Toolbar with custom set up. Lorem Ipsum generator, spell checker, and the list goes on.

Firefox is so familiar and comfortable, but Opera is new, exciting, and fast — very fast.

I feel so dirty and I know I will eventually need to stop splitting my time between the two, but I really want to have my cake and eat it too.

Alas, I guess I’m just fickle.

Getting To Know Your Friends

My friend Kim emailed this to me a really long time ago and since I can never remember to set down and follow through, I’ve decided to just post it to the blog and tag people that way :D .

Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends. Here’s what you’re supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun! Just copy and answer the questions, then leave me a link in the comments so I can read all about you :) finish reading »

Another Hurricane? Why oh why?

So, my sister just called me, and asked if I’d been watching the news. I responded with a no because I really don’t watch the news. I then asked her why, and she informed me that school would be closed tomorrow for my nephew because we have yet another hurricane heading our way.

Right now it’s just tropical storm Rita, but it is expected to become a hurricane category one by the time it passes South Florida, and it may become a really bad hurricane before it makes its way to the Gulf Coast.

Why oh, God, why? We really do not need this right now…I really do not need this right now. I’m not liking Florida so much anymore…especially not South Florida.

I’m off to get prepared. If you don’t hear from me for a while, you now know why.

Web Designer != Computer Technician

You know, I’ve been thinking about this lately, but more so after a conversation with a repair man who came to my home the other day. That was a disturbing encounter in itself which involved the following exchange:

Repairman: You can climb up there and fix it on one condition…
Me: Yea, what’s that?
Repairman: You have to wear a dress so I have something pretty look at from down here.
Me: <confuzzled and dumbfounded look>

(you really don’t want to know what I was thinking – or plotting)

Anyhoo, moving along – he asked what I did and I explained that I was a web designer and he then proceeded to tell me that the other day his computer started making a clicking sound and asked what he could do to fix it.

Uh hum…when did a web designer equate to computer repair technician type person? But it’s not just him, I have quite a few people (strangers mostly) who assume that because I use a computer for work I must know all there is to know about computers to include hardware and software.

And if someone’s computer on the other side of the world should blow up and catch fire, it sure enough is the web designer’s fault, or if their internet service provider is causing them problems and their email isn’t working (which has absolutely nothing to do with the site being developed for them) — it’s the web designer’s fault…sometimes people are funny.

So, for anyone who has ever been confused by the term “web designer” – it does not mean they are a computer tech, it does not mean they are the cause of all computer related problems, and it does not mean they broke your internet. It means they simply create pretty looking web pages.