For anyone who’s ever aspired to become a pimp, much like I did way back in the day, I have good news for you — John Reese’s Pimping Secrets.

He must be out of his mind to be offering so many great bonuses o_O. By the time I got to “Bonus 5: John’s personal directory of vendors he uses from alley dentists to fit your platinum grill perfectly to the best places to buy used platinum chains and diamond crosses in almost new condition.” I was ready to lay down the cash.

I cannot wait until I, too, “have the best hoes in town and a chevy impala with shag carpet dash and 22″ rims”.