PubCon 2006 In Boston (Notable Quotes)

PubCon in Boston is over — but the memories will live forever.

All names, situations, and anything else identifiable in each quote has been omitted. Basically, you’ll just be reading a bunch of quotes taken out of context.

If your sensibilities are easily offended, I’m giving you fair warning – Stop. Reading. Now.

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I will go down with you.
You will go down with me?

Ohhhhh, just gag me with a spoon!

Here’s my ID, show me your ass.

She’s coming…RUN!

DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKIN’ HARD IT IS TO GET A CAB IN BOSTON AT 2:00 O’CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING??

It looks like a sea urchin.

If I wasn’t drunk, I’d so kick your ass.
If you weren’t drunk, I’d so kick your ass.

Oh, I thought it said ‘I licked your ad.’

Well, I just thought you and I could rock it really hard tonight.

Don’t let how he looks fool you, he’s really not all that innocent.

It has to be a lipstick lesbian.

Ssssh, guess what? WE’RE DRUNK.

Yea, you should probably go downstairs, they’ll most likely be thankful if you are.

Men treat websites like their dicks – they don’t realize size doesn’t matter.

Fuck a duck.

Let’s sit at the cool table.

This rainbow line crap is really starting to piss me off. Where the fuck is the green line?

Am I the only one who hears jazz?
No, those aren’t just the voices in your head.

Here, have another one – it will make you feel better.
This is my seventh one and I’m not really feeling any better. In fact, I’m only feeling drunk.

Do you do best of the web?
Do I do best of the web?

Let’s just make them booth candy.

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Yea, there are a whole lot more, but I don’t remember them all. If you want a real and true synopsis of Boston PubCon 2006, I hope to have that online by Monday.

Off to Boston…

Life has definitely picked up for me this year and it’s been going full steam since the 1st of January (not complaining).

Now, I get to prepare myself for yet another trip – I’m off to Boston on Monday. Woo and hoo.

This will be my first time in Boston and I’m definitely looking forward to exploring and playing around the city.

If you’ll be in the Boston area from Monday April 17 – Friday April 21 and care to meet up, lemme know and we’ll work out the details.

WB – What Were You Thinking?

I don’t know whether to cry or throw up.

This week’s episode of Smallville is over, but that’s not what made me sick – the huge AOL logos splashed everywhere are.

Has no one informed the people at The WB that AOL sucks? If not, here’s a memo: AOL sucks.

Please stop trying to resuscitate AOL; just let it die its slow and agonizing death in peace.

Please.

Remember That Mobile Home?

Sometime ago, I wrote about a house across the “not nearly wide enough” canal being descended upon by police officers and a helicopter.

Well, that mobile home is no more…
Mobile home being bulldozed

Technically, now it’s just a slab of concrete, but I haven’t taken a picture of it since it’s been completely torn down.

Good-bye Lake Tahoe, Hello Home

View of A Mountain At Lake Tahoe Lake Tahoe is once again 3,000 miles behind me and the surreal fairytale has ended, at least, for now.

That is a trip I hope to make many times in the future, hopefully with an aptitude for skiing.

Despite the fact that we were probably the only people in Lake Tahoe who weren’t skiing — or from the UK — we still had a boatload of fun.

My sister and I learned how “too tall” sounds with a lovely English accent. People, if you’re going to talk about someone while she’s directly in front of you, make sure she’s out of earshot.

Aside from that, the people are divine and they reminded me why I loved Nevada so much in the first place.

Everyone we encountered was helpful and a girl could smile and say hello to a member of the opposite sex (and in some rare cases, the same sex) without him thinking that she’s fallen madly in love with him and wants to be the mother of his future children.

Slight tangent, I also noticed that most of the guys there are hotties — tall hotties. Whatever they have in the water, they need to ship some down to Florida – seriously.

Of course, it could very well be the ski boots and the fact that they were skiers because the moment we ended up in Reno, all the hotness seemed to dry up.

But, I digress. Many memorable conversations were shared between my sisters and I.

While in the bathroom washing my face, I heard from behind me, “Whoa! DAMN!

I immediately stopped and turned around, thinking the hotel was on fire or an avalanche had just started, then asked my sister what was wrong.

“No, you’ll get mad at me.”
“I promise I won’t. Tell me, ” I coaxed.
“Well, you’ve got some junk in your trunk.”

Thank you lovely sister. A million times, thank you. (In case you missed it, I was being sarcastic). I believe that was payback for calling her a “starving Ethiopian child” and constantly asking is she wants some food.

I will spare you the gratuitous ass shot I forced her to take so I could see for myself just how much “junk” was in my trunk.

Many nights were spent laughing, exploring, and going for the jugular. Helpful hint: never put three woman who are related to one another in close quarters for more than a day. Things will get ugly.

But enough of that, let’s talk about how the planets aligned just precisely for me to reconnect with Kim (she doesn’t like to be called Kimmy, and I swear, one of these days I will stop calling her that), someone I hadn’t seen in nearly 14 years.

Whenever I think back on this trip, I will forever remember the power of Google and the uniqueness of my name.

We were able to explore the old neighborhoods where we grew up and visit all of the old schools. I wish I could have stayed longer and taken it all in a little more. But, time stands still for no man (or woman).

Still, it was pretty nice to reclaim some memories before they were lost to the darkness forever. I can’t believe how much has changed, yet remains so familiar to me. Moving along before I get too melancholic.

The Gondola Going Up The Mountain Let’s get back to what I was able to talk Kim into doing. The Gondola. It’s that thing that takes you up the side of the mountain (which I later discovered was some 9,000 feet up).

Kim was surprisingly more calm than I was — I only screamed twice during the ride. However, the real terror didn’t come until we stepped off the Gondola and looked down.

I believed we were stepping onto solid ground, instead we were stepping onto a very large grate — with holes — and through those holes, you could see at least 200 feet straight down.

I froze. Kim and my nephew had to compose themselves enough to lead me to the nearest location with solid flooring.

It happened to be a gift shop where I was able to purchase a bracelet that reads “I survived the Gondola at Heavenly Lake Tahoe.”

Damn skippy I survived, despite the Gondola attendants screaming “look down! look down!” and laughing their asses off. Very glad I could give them a good chuckle.

I figure the next few times I go up, it will get easier. I hope.

Teli and Kimmy - Old Western Photo Then, I was able to talk Kim into taking some photos while wearing what some might call an old school hoochie outfit. That was tons of fun, and the pictures came out pretty nice too. Plus we have something to store away in the memory bank.

I so can’t wait for summer. That’s when I try really hard to rearrange my schedule and get back out there to do some more catching up with Kim and the family.

If you’d like to see more pictures, they’re online.

Oh yea, I remember now.

Since I’ve been in Tahoe, I’ve not really thought about home too much – my only thoughts of home were simply how much I miss my kitty. Other than that, I’d just as soon move out here.

I mentioned that there was snow involved, well, we had a lot more of that today. Luckily my body has adjusted to the climate change and it wasn’t very cold to me at all (of course, having layers of clothing on didn’t hurt either).

Being here reminded me of why I loved Nevada so much in the first place and why I always had a bad taste in my mouth about Florida.

Everyone is nice and helpful here. In Florida, you can’t smile at someone or say hello (especially of the male persuasion) without them thinking you’re on crack, escaped from a mental institution, or want to be the mother of his future children.

Snow. I know I was complaining about the temperature before, but now that I’m used to it, I realize how much I miss it. And the long hot showers that follow.

Overall, I feel a lot more comfortable in this area. All the things that make life worth living are here.

Safe Arrival

Well, we’ve safely arrived in Lake Tahoe (not to worry, my kitty is being safely taken care of while I’m gone and I’ve found a house sitter).

The first flight was interesting – one thing I like about Delta (well, the only thing I like about Delta) is how they display the plane’s position while it’s traveling and the plane speed – pretty cool.

Another good thing about Delta (okay, well, maybe I like two things about Delta) is that they did something really sweet for my nephew, who we tricked onto to the plane. They had the entire staff (including the pilot) and an US Marine sign a card for him and they wished him a happy birthday on the loudspeaker.

Back story. We (my sisters and I) decided that taking my nephew along would make a great birthday present for him. So, we developed a plan to make him believe he would be staying behind with his father and we would be taking him out for his birthday before we get on our flights.

Once at the airport, we told him we’d check in first, then get dinner, and his father would come to pick him up before we had to take off. Eventually (thanks to an overzealous attendant who just had to know who the fourth person in our party was) we announced to him that he was really coming with us and wasn’t staying home.

It was the cutest thing to see his eyes open up wide and the complete look of confusion on his face. I’m surprised he didn’t figure it out when we made him go through security with us :) .

(I was strip searched or whatever it’s called – my very first time ever. I think the security people thought I was a hoot because I kept smiling and thanked them when it was over.)

Well, back to the actual trip. I met some cool people and I learned that I can’t break my habit of talking to strangers as the nice gentleman sitting next to me found out. I’m glad I did chat with him though because I learned quite a bit about where to go in Europe for my next vacation.

But, the absolute best part of the trip for me? Arriving at the RNO airport and seeing Kimmy!!! I still can’t believe it, I’m in shock and awe. We hadn’t seen each other in nearly 15 years. And my sister says we still act like we did when we were in middle school together :D . Of course.

Then, there was the bus ride and the hike to the hotel…that’s another entry for another day when I can think about it without gnashing my teeth.

Good news: my nephew has finally seen snow and thrown his first snowball :)