How Personal Is Too Personal?
This may not come as a surprise to those who know me IRL, but I have more than one blog. Let me clarify, I have more than one personal blog.
For nearly 2 years, Mild Insanity has been the place where I vented and raged and laughed and learned. It was fun (and still is). Then I realized people beyond my friends and family were actually reading my blog and suddenly, it began to feel strange. Because of this strangeness, Mild Insanity became self-censored.
When I found out my ex-boyfriend read this blog, I chose not to speak specifically of our relationship or my new relationships or anything I felt might upset him. Because many people only see me as bubbly/happy/goofy, I have a lot of difficulty speaking about my bad days, my pain, my fears, or anything that would paint me in a different light.
A lot of who I am is lost on this blog and I spend a great deal of time biting my tongue and choosing my words as not to upset the wrong people at the wrong time. While I stand by my words (let’s face it, they show everyone that I’m human too…), there are some words I’d prefer others not read. I’ve tried password protecting posts, but my blog isn’t a high school cafeteria, and I don’t like excluding people like that.
And therein lies my dilema. What should I do with the insanity? Should I mothball it? Should I continue writing about various topics I find floating around the web? Or should I bite the bullet, get over my fear of being completely open in the public eye and just go for broke?
If I’m quiet here for a little while, you’ll know what I’m contemplating…
In the meantime, feel free to entertain yourself with some posts from the archive 
Tom wrote,
I, for one, have enjoyed reading your ramblings here. But I totally get what you mean. I’ve been suffering a crisis of online identity for a few weeks now, and maybe one of these days I’ll do something about it.
Whatever you write here, whether I comment or not, I’ll be reading and enjoying. But you and I both know that blogs aren’t about other people reading and enjoying them — blogs are about the writer enjoying them, and as soon as you lose that, it’s probably time to move on.
If you want a loyal and unconditional fan who is not an ex-boyfriend reader for any of your other creative outlets, drop me a note and I’m in. If you don’t feel comfortable having a loyal and unconditional stranger reading those things, no harm no foul. (I’m not sure how I’d react to one). This is the web and I’ve been knee deep in it since the beginning, so I know that every good and bad thing I come across won’t last long enough to make an impact, but might last long enough to subtly shift the tide.
Comment Link | August 7th, 2006 at 10:53 pmteli wrote,
Thanks Tom,
It means a lot that you took the time to let me know you enjoy my ramblings.
I remember, you were actually one of my first commenters and it was about the time it started to sink in that other people read my blog. It wasn’t bad then, but all of a sudden, I’ve been wanting to get more personal on the blog, but something always holds me back. Ah well.
And I can always use a loyal and unconditional stranger to read my blog, so whatever I decide to do, I’ll drop you an e-mail and let you know.
Comment Link | August 8th, 2006 at 1:10 pmPandora wrote,
Did you get my email, sweetheart? (;
Comment Link | August 9th, 2006 at 7:00 pmI just wanted to make sure it didn’t go astray
teli wrote,
Hi Pandora,
YES!! And I’ve been planning out a really long reply to it (it’s sitting in draft right now LOL).
Sorry I’ve been a lazy bum about sending it…just need to polish it so it sounds like an almost educated person wrote it.
Comment Link | August 9th, 2006 at 7:09 pmPandora wrote,
Oh - pfffffft. Please, woman. ::laughs:: No need to polish anything for *me*. I teach high schoolers. (;
As long as you don’t say ‘ne1′ or ‘r u there?’ or ‘this is 4 u’ - I’ll be perfectly happy to read it. (;
(Wow. That was painful to write….)
Comment Link | August 9th, 2006 at 7:12 pmteli wrote,
I can imagine…it was painful to read
Comment Link | August 9th, 2006 at 9:52 pmPandora wrote,
::giggles:: Sorry. But I think it made the point. (=
Comment Link | August 9th, 2006 at 11:05 pm