While making my own notes to self, I decided to check out how others are doing it. So far, this is hilarious.
A few of my personal favorites in no particular order (my comments are in italics off to the side):
- Never buy 1-ply toilet paper. The price-savings to raw-ass ratio never works out in your favor. (Sometimes people need to learn this lesson the hard way.)
- Make a yearly habit of firing a gun, if for no other reason than to remind yourself you’re not particulalry fond of them and they can be quite dangerous if you’re not aware of what to do. Ditto for going out on a blind date. (Been there, done that and it wasn’t pretty — have the pictures to prove it. I’m talking about both, firing a gun and the blind date.)
- Buy a ninja costume. Invent social occasions to wear it in public.
- Rob the jewelry store and tell ‘em make me a grill.
- Name each of your toes. Attempt to train them to stand at attention when called by name. Belittle the ones who can’t manage. By flipflop season you’ll realize that tough love was the way to go.
- Find the end of the internet. Move on with your life. (Here you go.)
- At some point this week, eat a meal that tastes so good it makes you want to curse. Out-loud. Pay heftily for the privilege of doing so if necessary. (I’ll do so only after I’ve lost the necessary weight and shamelessly flaunted my ass in a bikini for ten days in Australia.)
- Begin referring to “SMS Messaging” as “S&M Messaging” in conversation. Stare at people incredulously if they have the nerve to correct you.
- Clean out your inbox. Triple digits are BAD. (If triple digits are bad, I wonder what quadruple digits are.)
- No matter what lies you tell yourself, you really will feel better if you just go ahead and get up in the morning instead of rolling back over. (Riiiiiight.)
- Go get a slight crush on a cute [guy]. It makes you smile for no apparent reason. (‘Tis true. ‘Tis true.)
Okay, there are far too many humdingers to list, so go read, have a laugh, and gain some wisdom. Don’t say I never gave you nuthin’.
I just downloaded the most recent version of Skype and when the installation finished, it popped up a message “Video Chat (Beta) enabled” (my laptop comes with a camera built-in).
Wowsa…now I can video chat with people. How cool is that?
Thought I’d share…
In funny news, my sister was having some problems with Cingular and she got to enjoy their craptacular customer service first hand. She was having a problem similar to mine, however, instead of not being able to make phone calls, she wasn’t able to receive phone calls.
When she called me up yesterday and said, “I’m trying to wait it out. You said after 8 days you were straight right?”
I blinked a couple times, then realized she thought the problem went away on its own. Breaking the news to her broke my heart a little, “Dear sister, it took 8 days bitching and speaking to 11 different people to get my phone fixed.”
She just called me this morning with her new cell phone number. Sucks to be her…
In the good news, I’m in complete and utter disbelief, but excited nonetheless.
In two and a half weeks, I will be chilling in Australia with a quick jaunt to Fiji!
This is a much needed and much welcomed vacation. My sister and I already have an agreement: What happens in Australia, stays in Australia! Yeah mate.
That means…I have less than two weeks to get myself bikini ready. I’ve already lost 5 pounds, but that’s nowhere near ready enough for me, so for the next two weeks, I’ll be doing some hard core exercising…and I’ll try harder not to cheat on my diet.
So, wanna make a girl smile? Get her something pretty*. Make her feel like a lady.
* Of course, there are other ways to get a girl to smile, but I’m just stating the obvious here.
Well, just got off the phone with my sister.
Actually, that’s not entirely true – she hung up on me.
But, before you hand me the bad sister award, let me plead my case.
I love my sister and actually believe she’s one of the coolest people in the world. She’s an awesome mom, and sometimes I feel as though she was handed a crappy lot in life. She knows she was handed a crappy lot in life and she reminds me about it…a lot.
She complains, I listen, I offer advice. She complains some more, I listen some more, and I offer more advice. I know I’m not Miss Perfect. I complain about my problems, but I at least try to throw in a few happy thoughts, think positively, and am open to the advice of others. (I pray my complaints don’t dominate my conversations.)
Today she called and sounded down. I must admit I was wary of asking, but I did anyway and she began to tell me about her crappy home owner’s association, that her blood sugar is high, my other sister only gave her 30 pills, and she’s used to 90, so she can’t double up, and so on. Okay.
My response? Your association is requiring some paperwork, get them the paperwork. Your blood sugar is high and you only have 30 pills so you can’t double up — then modify your diet, don’t cheat and find the time to exercise. Simply suggestions, but she refuted them all and decided to continue complaining.
The association really is annoying, though. I shouldn’t need to get them this paperwork. Okay, my association not only caused thousands of dollars worth of damage to my home, they’re not willing to pay for it or fix it – how’s that?
Her diet is already perfect and she doesn’t cheat. Really, she’s good, so her sugar shouldn’t be so high. So I didn’t snap a picture of her chowing down an ice cream cone from McDonald’s not one week ago? And she didn’t tell me, in the same breath while eating said ice cream cone, that she didn’t have a very sugary treat the night before? I must be living in a parallel universe.
She can’t make the time to exercise, even though it’s where her health is concerned, because she has too much on her plate. An hour and a half per week is absolutely impossible. Fine, then ask the other sister for advice on how to lower blood sugar naturally. The only way I know to maintain blood sugar is through diet and exercise.
Apparently, today was just the day I couldn’t take it and snapped. (Have you ever listened to someone complain non-stop for 30 minutes, plus?) I told her I loved her but the only thing she ever does when we’re on the phone is complain and it’s tiring.
I could tell she was very hurt because she told me to walk a day in her shoes and I wouldn’t be so quick to dish out solutions to every one of her problems.
Quite frankly, I don’t want to live a day in her life. I know it’s tough. She has a husband, a house, and a child to take care of. She also has some medical problems and she’s striving to open her own business.
I honestly try not to dish out solutions, I try to provide another perspective. Something to get ideas flowing in her head. That’s the only thing I can do or sit with the phone cocked off to the side and intermittently say “uh huh, that sucks”. Today, I simply couldn’t take it – my energy dropped from super high to damn near low.
So, her response? She has another call and hung up. Didn’t even give me a chance to say good-bye or anything.
It wasn’t intentional to hurt my sister. I commend her for all she does, but like she has problems, I have my fair share, too – today, I really just couldn’t take on any one else’s.
I can probably expect a phone call from the other sibling this evening, I can only hope she won’t be too mad at me. Time for damage control.
Update: Crisis averted. She hath forgiven me for my lack of sensitivity.
Yay, I found it.
Scarred was done with #2 pencil and drawn in 9th grade, if I’m not mistaken.
Though it’s not one of my best drawings, it’s always been one of my favorites.
Now, before you think that I was always an utterly unhappy youth, I present you with Planet Happy Face:
I actually remember painting this in 7th grade and it hung on my bedroom door through 10th grade.
I’m having tons of fun going through my old art work. It brings back so many memories; some good, some not so good, but I still enjoy the process.
It’s a rainbow!
It was pouring when I left Wal*Mart yesterday, but, spotting this beauty on the drive home made it all worthwhile.
And no, I didn’t go hunting down the pot of gold.
As if I really needed an excuse to eat oatmeal raisin cookies and drink apple juice, I was finally able to donate blood. After the last incident I had, both the donation lady and myself were holding our breath as she tested my blood’s iron levels and wouldn’t you know it, my iron pill kicked in.
Here are some fun facts for you…
My blood type is O+, my blood pressure is 114/80, my temperature is 98.8°F, and my resting pulse is 60 beats per minute (which, oddly, is higher than usual).
If you’re squeamish about blood, you may want to stop reading now. Here’s what the process looks like:
I gave the lady a chuckle when I finally opened my eyes roughly half-way through. I really can’t stand watching the needle go in.
I have a couple other entries I want to write, but damn I’m tired. I truly didn’t think I’d feel this flushed afterwards, so, I’m going to eat a big meal (read: order a very large pizza) and take a nap.
P.S. If anyone wants a couple free passes to the Florida Marlins game on Oct. 1, please let me know. I’m not a huge baseball fan.
On a completely unrelated note, I’m really having fun taking pictures of random stuff with my cell phone.
So, I’m going through some of my old things (spring cleaning…a little late) and lookie what I found:
It’s called Trail of Forgotten Souls and I must have been slightly upset when I painted it in 11th grade. Of course, it did win an award and someone offered me $75 for it, so I guess it couldn’t be that bad.
In case you missed it, those are little dead souls walking on a trail of tears from a head which is engulfed in flames.
There’s one I distinctly remember (and loved) called Scarred. I hope to find it soon…if I do, I’ll post a pic of it.
Oh, and if you even care what my old AP Portfolio classroom looked like, here you go:
(This was the product of boredom.)