Ramblings of the Mildly Insane

Now that I realize there’s really no such thing as a “natural” celebrity, I may just need to stop trying to emulate them and start Photoshopping myself whenever I don’t like my photos.

Of course, right now I can’t claim to have the same type of Photoshop skillz as those who cater to the stars. *sigh* (But, I can sure try.)

For an eye-opening look at this strange reality, visit iWANEX STUDIO and do the following:

1. Click on Portfolio
2. Click on a thumbnail image
3. Hover over the larger image that pops up.
4. Bonus: hover over Penelope Cruz’s photo back and forth really fast to see her hips and boobs grow.
5. Another Bonus: hover over Beyonce’s photo back and forth really fast to see her love handles and calf-fat magically disappear.
6. Bonus that the girls will hate me for: Click on Justin Timberlake’s photo and hover.

Hattip to Heather Burns for turning me onto this entertaining, yet deeply saddening, website.

Every so often, you’ll come across a fug you need to scroll to view. As you gingerly nudge the cursor down the page, you silently think to yourself, “this isn’t so bad. I wonder why they’ve put her among the other fuggers.” And then BAM — it hits you like a steaming pile of fug.

Will these celebrities ever learn? These women have eyes like a starving hyena; no error will escape their gaze no matter how small or insignificant.

Finally back from Jamaica and boy does it feel good to be home. Jamaica is nice, but after 10 days, it starts wearing badly on you. Next time around, I’m planning to stay in an all-inclusive resort in Negril and just cut out all the other un-necessaries. When I finally catch up on sleep and work, I’ll definitely post some pictures and offer a more constructive review of the trip.

So, my sister hijacked me (quite literally) for a trip to Jamaica; I’ve been in MoBay for roughly a week now and will be here for another 5 days. The purpose of the trip was partly vacation and partly to get my niece Christened. Frankly, I’m ready to come home, but that’s not going to happen any time soon, so I may as well make the best of it.

Besides being a little homesick, the trip has been pretty good so far. Thank goodness for jerk chicken and fresh roasted breadfruit because after the day I had, they were my saving grace. The drive to Ocho Rios was long and torturous, the trek up Dunn’s River Falls was treacherous, but luckily the dolphins (Nina and Sally) were far more forgiving.

And as a parting note — for now — if you can drive in Jamaica, you can drive anywhere. I know that my life flashed before my eyes more than once since I’ve been here.

P.S. If you’ve e-mailed me or tried to get into contact with me virtually, I apologize because the internet situation has been spotty and the schedule has been tight.