Ramblings of the Mildly Insane

This may not come as a surprise to those who know me IRL, but I have more than one blog. Let me clarify, I have more than one personal blog.

For nearly 2 years, Mild Insanity has been the place where I vented and raged and laughed and learned. It was fun (and still is). Then I realized people beyond my friends and family were actually reading my blog and suddenly, it began to feel strange. Because of this strangeness, Mild Insanity became self-censored.

When I found out my ex-boyfriend read this blog, I chose not to speak specifically of our relationship or my new relationships or anything I felt might upset him. Because many people only see me as bubbly/happy/goofy, I have a lot of difficulty speaking about my bad days, my pain, my fears, or anything that would paint me in a different light.

A lot of who I am is lost on this blog and I spend a great deal of time biting my tongue and choosing my words as not to upset the wrong people at the wrong time. While I stand by my words (let’s face it, they show everyone that I’m human too…), there are some words I’d prefer others not read. I’ve tried password protecting posts, but my blog isn’t a high school cafeteria, and I don’t like excluding people like that.

And therein lies my dilema. What should I do with the insanity? Should I mothball it? Should I continue writing about various topics I find floating around the web? Or should I bite the bullet, get over my fear of being completely open in the public eye and just go for broke?

If I’m quiet here for a little while, you’ll know what I’m contemplating…

In the meantime, feel free to entertain yourself with some posts from the archive

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I’m dieting. Though it started before 2006 rolled in, this is officially the first day that I haven’t cheated on it.

So, when my sister suggested we stop off at Wendy’s, I politely declined and told her about my diet, to which she responded with a genuine, “Why?”

“Because I’ve gained a lot of weight since I’ve been up here and I really don’t like it.” (This answer seems quite reasonable to me.)

“But you look healthy now.”

“Huh? What do you mean I look healthy now? I didn’t look healthy before?”

“Before, when you weighed less, you looked like I should feed you. I’m not trying to be funny, but I wanted to hand you a cheese burger and tell you to eat.”

And this is the same sister who, while we were up in Tahoe, off-handedly mentioned that my ass had grown to ginormous proportions.

Personally, I think this is just payback for me always calling her a starving Ethiopian child and asking is she needs some food. In my defense, she is twig thin and always has been.

In any event, I’m holding fast to my plans and will be working hard to shed those 20 pounds. But to be clear, I love my curves, just on a smaller scale.

I really just want to get back down to my original 9/10 pant size and if God really loves me, a 7/8.

It’s official, I’m another year older, though still twenty-one. (The denial is strong in this one…)

The decision was made, after having a lovely evening out with my sisters, to treat myself to a spa day tomorrow. I’ve never had one before, so I figure my birthday’s as good a time as any.

Oh, and I’ll be spending a portion of the day mapping out what I plan to do for the next year. I feel so alive this year, I’ve done a bit of travelling and I’m itching to do some more.

So far, Australia in October, Las Vegas in November, and Greece next summer (probably for my next birthday) have all been mapped out.

Next, I need to focus on some goals I’d like to achieve as well. Something tells me this next year is going to be awesome.

Happy birthday to any other Tauremini’s out there

(P.S. I’ll post photos of my birthday gifts later.)

To continue feeling relatively young.

It’s hard to imagine that on Friday I will become another year older, though miraculously, I will still remain only twenty-one.

I love to do something special for my birthday every year (which usually involves me traveling somewhere), but this year I haven’t made any plans and I have no clue what I should do. My birthdays since the first time I turned twenty-one have been botched and it’s about time I turn the trend around.

Traveling back to NV was a consideration, however, my work schedule is pretty tight so anything I do for the birthday will need to be a day trip or 3-day weekend type of deal. Suggestions and inspiration welcome.

Decisions, decisions. Who knew growing older could be so difficult?

Well, we’ve safely arrived in Lake Tahoe (not to worry, my kitty is being safely taken care of while I’m gone and I’ve found a house sitter).

The first flight was interesting – one thing I like about Delta (well, the only thing I like about Delta) is how they display the plane’s position while it’s traveling and the plane speed – pretty cool.

Another good thing about Delta (okay, well, maybe I like two things about Delta) is that they did something really sweet for my nephew, who we tricked onto to the plane. They had the entire staff (including the pilot) and an US Marine sign a card for him and they wished him a happy birthday on the loudspeaker.

Back story. We (my sisters and I) decided that taking my nephew along would make a great birthday present for him. So, we developed a plan to make him believe he would be staying behind with his father and we would be taking him out for his birthday before we get on our flights.

Once at the airport, we told him we’d check in first, then get dinner, and his father would come to pick him up before we had to take off. Eventually (thanks to an overzealous attendant who just had to know who the fourth person in our party was) we announced to him that he was really coming with us and wasn’t staying home.

It was the cutest thing to see his eyes open up wide and the complete look of confusion on his face. I’m surprised he didn’t figure it out when we made him go through security with us .

(I was strip searched or whatever it’s called – my very first time ever. I think the security people thought I was a hoot because I kept smiling and thanked them when it was over.)

Well, back to the actual trip. I met some cool people and I learned that I can’t break my habit of talking to strangers as the nice gentleman sitting next to me found out. I’m glad I did chat with him though because I learned quite a bit about where to go in Europe for my next vacation.

But, the absolute best part of the trip for me? Arriving at the RNO airport and seeing Kimmy!!! I still can’t believe it, I’m in shock and awe. We hadn’t seen each other in nearly 15 years. And my sister says we still act like we did when we were in middle school together . Of course.

Then, there was the bus ride and the hike to the hotel…that’s another entry for another day when I can think about it without gnashing my teeth.

Good news: my nephew has finally seen snow and thrown his first snowball

There is something strangely, wonderfully, liberating about being able to eat as much sugar as you want.

It seems that all of your prayers worked because I got my test results back this morning and they were…interesting, to say the least.

My sister sounded so solemn when she called me. Immediate worry set in as I asked if I was going to die.

She told me no, but that my other sister was going to be very mad at me. When I asked why, she said because my sugar wasn’t high at all. In fact, it was too low.

The normal blood sugar range for someone in my age group is around 99ish, and mine was 38. After the shock wore off, I asked again if I was going to die or if I had some strange disease like hypoglycemia or something.

Luckily, the answer to both questions was no. It just means I need to eat more sugar. Seriously. YESSSSS!

Some other interesting facts, my cholesterol is very good (142), but then I’ve always had really good cholesterol. It’s gone up some, it only used to be 112. Oh, well. I’m still within a healthy range.

The only thing wrong with me healthwise is that I’m anemic, but that’s not news to me. The blood donation people always have to work some voodoo magic on my blood sample to make it look as though I have enough iron in my blood to donate .

Now I’m stuck taking iron supplements again. And not normal people supplements, either, like the 600% above normal dosage supplements. Bah.

It’s still a fair trade off for being able to eat more sugar. Woo and hoo.

So, there I was – standing at the edge of Lake Crappy. I had just lost my footing and I was flailing my arms in hopes of regaining it and praying not to fall in.

Obviously it didn’t work because I fell in.

That’s where I’ve been for the past couple weeks or so, treading water, and slowly pulling myself out and back onto solid ground.

Let me tell you – the person who said “work through the pain” is full of sh*t. The first week I wasn’t feeling too hot, I tried to “work through the pain” and keep up the pretenses that all was well and good when it wasn’t and the only thing it did was make me feel worse.

To the point where I had to call it quits because I couldn’t focus, think clearly, or stay awake.

Unfortunately, it put me way behind on a lot of things and though I’m still feeling a bit crappy, I am working to catch up on a lot of things.

So, if I’m quiet here for a while – you know why.

I’ve been tagged. Paul Short of BlogLogic (er…when did that site get a new look, Paul?) has passed me the 4 things meme wand and being the freakish meme fiend that I am, I have to participate.

Four Jobs I’ve Had :
1. Cashier/Cook at a (couple of) fast food restaurants
2. Leasing Agent
3. Web Developer
4. Online Marketer

(The last two are via my own business.)

Four Movies I Can Watch Over And Over :

1) MIB (not two, just one.)
2) Joy Luck Club (even though it makes me cry every single time I watch it.)
3) How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days
4) Alien v. Predator

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch :
1) Gilmore Girls
2) One Tree Hill
3) Missing
4) Stargate Atlantis

(I’d have listed Farscape and Strong Medicine, but they’re over…)

Four Places I’ve Been On Vacation :

1) Montego Bay, Jamaica
2) Manito (to Chicago), IL
3) Ocala (to Orlando), FL
4) Allentown, PA

Four Tunes That Play In My Head :
1) Four Seasons by Vivaldi
2) The ring tone from my cell phone (don’t ask)
3) Don’t Cha by Pussycat Dolls
4) I Hate (Everything About You) by Three Days Grace (again, don’t ask)

Four Favorite Dishes :
1) Is sugar a “dish”?
2) Cereal (well, it’s served in a dish)
3) Italian food with lots of cheese and no sea food.
4) Red Pea Soup

Four Websites I Visit Daily :
1) My own sites (a whole lot more than four)
2) My Feeds (technically not a site, but it leads me to all the sites I like to read daily)
3) Google (and it’s various services)
4) Yahoo!

Four Books I Really Love :
1) Where The Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
2) Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King
3) My mother’s Bible
4) The Divine Comedy

Four Places I’d Rather Be:
1) Burbank, CA
2) Scotland
3) Australia
4) Ireland

Four Bloggers I’m Tagging :
I don’t think I even know any bloggers that haven’t already been tagged yet.
1) BJ
2) Jason
3) Trisha
4) Barbara

Paul wasn’t kidding, that did take longer than I expected. Enjoy.

Yes, as unbelievable as it may seem, I don’t feel nice and loveable all the time.

Sometimes people upset me, make me angry, or just downright piss me off. Not often, but it happens.

Sorry for the mild vent.