And Here I Thought Only My Dad Was Psycho

I remember one date in particular back in High School. My first official date.

Well, I had to prep him because my dad is a character when it comes to boys and his daughter.

One of the requirements for my date was to come to the door, ring the bell, and greet my father as he was sure to answer it.

That scenario eventually came to pass. My date arrived and, upon my father answering the door, said, “Good evening Mr. Adlam. I’m here to pick up Teli.” Then held out his hand for a polite handshake.

My father looked down at his hand, then looked him in the eye (at this point, I was coming up behind my dad), and said, “If you hurt her, I will kill you.”

That was it. No hey there or hello, no handshake, no pat on the back. Just a very cold threat of bodily harm.

I quickly scooched past my dad and onto the porch with my date, smiled big, and said, “Don’t worry daddy, he’ll have me home at a decent hour.”

Looking back at that now, I’m kind of thankful my dad didn’t have military training. That scenario could have been a whole lot worse.

Confessions from the 80s

Because I spent a good portion of this week trying to figure out what the hell I did to piss Murphy off, today I decided to hide from the world and reminisce.

Part of that reminiscing (the part after my sister showed up on my doorstep and forced me to venture out into the world of the living) I’ve been watching VH1′s I Love The 80s series and I have a few confessions to make.

  • I used to watch, love, and am still pissed that they canceled Inspector Gadget, Jem, and She-Ra.
  • I watched ALF every week and prayed for God to send me my own fuzzy alien (instead I got a cat).
  • I danced like an Egyptian, and still do when no one’s watching.
  • When I was 10, I decided to marry Rob Lowe when I turned 20 (as you may have guessed, that didn’t happen).
  • I recognized and knew the lyrics to every song they featured. Every. Single. One.
  • I think Don Johnson’s single was pretty decent.
  • I fantasized about being on Nickelodeon’s Double Dare
  • I collected Garbage Pail Kids

I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all I can think of right now.

On a final note, in today’s day and age, you probably couldn’t get away with a PSA that includes “…life can be pretty fun if you’re straight.”

Chances are it’d be misconstrued. Oh how times have changed.

Thinking About Thinking

I have always enjoyed thinking, analyzing, understanding everything — however, as I’ve grown and evolved, I find much of my time is consumed by miscellaneous geekery and various other life topics I’d just as soon not think about.

As I was going through some of my old notes for my new project (www.leftovernotes.com – nothing there yet), I came across some of my old African American Studies papers and one of the comments caught my eye — this was the first real paper I had to turn in for the class and written on the bottom was:

“Indeed — Grad work. I’m impressed with the depth of thought. Now let’s work on persuasive techniques.”

I later learned I had received the highest grade in the class and that was amazing for a lowly freshman like myself to see from “one of the hardest professors in the entire university” (I remember quivering like a leaf on the first day).

Reading that report and her comments made me question what happened to my ‘deep thoughts’. I’ve always been told I had a unique way at looking at things, but it seems that my unique way is starting to blend in with the masses.

I’m starting to think it’s true – if you don’t use it, you lose it. My new goal is to shift my priorities. I will challenge myself to look at something differently each day and I will challenge myself to pick up a pen and write as well.

Writing was one of the few talents I had, I sure as hell don’t want to lose it — I just wish I had nurtured it far more than I have…

God Bless The Internet…

Well, I just got the best surprise a person could get last night – an email. Not just any email, an email from someone I have not spoken to in nearly 13 years. An email from the person who I called my bestest friend in the whole widest world.

What makes this email even more weird is the fact that not 30 minutes before I received it, I had thought about her and her sister. I thought about their birthdays coming up soon and that I didn’t have a way to get in touch with them. Then while checking my email, I did a double take because I wasn’t sure if it was my mind playing tricks on me.

Now, just to say she was my best friend is an understatement. Her family treated me as one of their own (her mom even assigned me chores and introduced me to the awesomeness that is chocolate chip pancakes). She and her family helped take care of me at one of the worst possible times in my life. My father thought of her as his own daughter and it absolutely broke my heart when I had to move away.

I never forgot her. In a world of phony people and fake smiles, she was one of the best people and to say I missed her wouldn’t be enough. Just in case she’s reading my blog – thank you for doing a ‘totally random Google search’ and thank goodness I have a really unique name :) .

I hate to admit it, but I kinda miss playing basketball

The question “do you play basketball?” used to be the bane of my existence (actually, it still is somewhat) because it was always the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd question people asked after meeting me for the first time.

But now that I haven’t played in a few years, I’m actually starting to miss it. Too bad I don’t have high ceilings or a driveway anymore. Man I wish the park were closer to my home…

This Year I Will Face My Fears

My sissy kidnapped me for lunch yesterday. Granted, I went willingly cuz I just needed to get out of the house and take a break, and we had a nice time. We started talking about, what, I can’t remember, but I do remember that it got me thinking about how we take so much for granted. I told her that this year, I would eat at Long John Silver’s. She looked over at me and said “oh, I’ve eaten there…” and I replied “I know, you’ve told me, but I’m actually going to park my car, get out, walk inside and order some chicken.”

She got a little quiet, then looked back over at me and said “I’ve never gone inside. I’ve always gone through the drive through. I’ve never gone inside.” and I could see in her face that going inside scared her too. So, this year, I will face so many of the things I was unable to deal with before. The list will grow I’m sure because it is by no means complete, but I’m trying to do this thing one step at a time. I’ll conquer the bigger stuff when I feel I’m better able.

1. I will eat at Long John Silver’s
2. I will purchase and actually chew a stick of Juicy Fruit Gum
3. I will learn to play guitar
4. I will make it through Amazing Grace without crying

I know I can do it, I’ve already proven that to myself by eating an orange again, eating Toblerone chocolates, buying and actually chewing a stick of gum from the “green pack” (I don’t remember what flavor it is because we always used to just call it the “green pack” – I know it’s Wrigley’s PenTpak brand and has 17 sticks of gum in it).

I know that the majority of you will not understand my list and many will be looking cross-eyed at it wondering if I’m joking – no, I’m not – but there are some who will understand the significance of each of the things on that list. I have not done any of the things on that list in 13 years, I can’t believe it’s been thirteen years already, it seems like it was just yesterday.

When I’m ready to talk about it, I will, but for now I’m going to focus on finding the strength to accomplish each task.

Too Bad My Brothel Never Got Off The Ground

Talking about fear of having a mini version of myself, it reminded me of some of my high school antics. Like I said, I was never really a bad person and didn’t do the smoking/drinking/promiscuity thing, but I was very enterprising :D .

While other teenagers were thinking of what to wear the next day, I started a Hoochie service. It originally started out as a matchmaking service for the school dance and I did a pretty dern good job. Some of the girls got to thinking about extending the business, and next thing you know, I already had about 15 female hoochies and 3 male hoochies lined up. They called me pimpmama, I called them hoochie 1-#. It was a very close loving relationship we all shared.

Now before you all condemn me as a heathen, I wasn’t selling sex and I had a long discussion with my hoochies that they didn’t have to do anything they didn’t want to and they wouldn’t need to date anyone over the age of 18 or who had graduated from high school. I got a couple football players to be the drivers/bouncers. I had business cards and flyers printed up. I discussed a fee schedule with the ladies and gents. Everything was good to go…that is until Mr. Jones found out. Damn…

He called me into his office, had a speech about how I was “a very smart girl” and how I should “already know that it was wrong to pimp out girls” (and some guys) and I remember thinking to myself “Dude, you’re the biggest pimp of all with your polyester suit. You look like you stepped out of an episode of Shaft. Who are you trying to kid?” – but now that I’m older and wiser, I can understand why a hoochie service may not have been the best way to earn money in high school. Thankfully he made a deal with me – if I promised to quit the pimping business and get a legit job he wouldn’t tell my dad. I ended up working at Wendy’s through high school.

Oddly enough, some people still call me pimpmama. Sometimes I miss the good ole days…I never thought I’d ever be able to look back at that and laugh. It’s because of stuff like this which gives me pause on having children though.

Disclaimer: If you’re in high school, do not try to start one, there is a 99% chance it will not work out and you will get caught before your first flyer goes out.

There Are Only A Few Hours of 2004 Left

New Year 2005 is nearly upon us. It’s the time to look back over the past year and decide what was right, what was wrong, and what we can do better in the coming year.

2004 was a good year, overall. To others, looking in from the outside, it may appear that life was sucking pretty bad for me – but alas, I think it all worked out fairly well in my favor. I had a chance to meet some wonderful people and learn how to stand up for myself more. I learned to be more human and that I really do love my family, however broken it may appear to be.

I could do a year end review month by month, but frankly, I don’t have the mentality – so, just the highlights for me. I moved, I learned how to design websites – and not just any websites, websites built with tendering loving W3C care, I met some wonderful people, read some wonderful blogs and now I’m ready to start a fresh new year.

I have a number of goals for 2005 and I will be spending my rainy evening writing them down, then I’ll call my family at 12:01am to wish them a happy new year, then I’m going to sleep. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to wake up, stretch, carry out my morning routine as normal – then I’m going to turn off all my lights and watch movies all day. I may turn on my computer to check email or something – and if I feel really inspired, I’ll blog.

On my final note, some may call me altruistic and idealistic, but I never lose hope that each year, the world can be an even better place and that one day mankind will have a collective epiphany and realize that Mother Nature creates enough death and destruction without us helping out…

So, as 2004 draws to an end – I want to wish everyone, from the bottom of my heart, peace, love, happiness, joy, and prosperity for the new year and always.

5 Days Until The New Year

The new year is almost upon us, and I believe alot of people are in accordance that this will definitely be a year for change. I’m looking back over my life this past year and I realize that I’ve had many horrible want to crawl under a rock and hide moments, but I’ve also had moments I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Someone I cared very much for moved away, I moved to a new home in a new city, I left my job, and I had to start all over. Now, I do something I love, I have learned many many things, and I continue to grow. I also learned that I can work for myself, help other people, and make a pretty dern good living doing it too. I learned that I am stronger than I thought. I learned that sometimes things seem like it’s boding the end of the world – that is until we come through it relatively unscathed, then look back and say “oh gosh, I can’t believe I was afraid to deal with that before” (hindsight is 20/20).

Okay, enough of the reminiscing – with 2005 just around the corner, there are many things I want to get done. I want to share all that I have learned this year with others, so with that in mind I want to redesign my website as well as work on CSS Goddess (I can’t take full credit for the name – that was thanks to tantek). The site I wanted to put together to showcase women designers. I know there are plenty of CSS gallery sites on the web, however, I know plenty of women who love designing with CSS and who want to learn more, so I wanted to create an estrocentric community for it. That probably won’t evolve into anything meaningful until Mar 05, but it’s something that’s on my plate.

I am also planning another interesting project, but that one is pretty much a secret because it’s somewhat ground-breaking for the industry. And since I want to start the new year fresh, I plan to do a bit of spring cleaning – in Dec – and donate all the things I don’t use to Goodwill then organize, organize, organize (I want to see my desk again). I will also try harder to document stuff on my blog – a way to help me put my head on straight, so to speak.

I’ve said my goal, laid them out on paper, outlined my plan – now all that’s left is for me to get started!